Panda
by Lovelace -Annabell
Summary: The Title is completly random. This story is completly random. Contains what would be a "normal" conversation between Deryn, Alek, and Me; and includes interviews from both of the charaters. One-shot. Rated K   for complete randomness.


_**What time is it?**_

_**ADVENTUR-**_

_**DISCLAIMER TIME!**_

**I just wanted all of you to know, that I OWN the LEVIATHAN SERIES and that I'm SCOTT WESTERFELD disguised as a GIRL. Also because I'm awesome.**

**Not. Well, one out of three. Of course I DO NOT OWN the Leviathan series. Of Course I'm NOT awesome. **

**Wait… I AM awesome. Then I guess I'm NOT Scott Westerfeld. **

**Note from the Authoress:**

_Just a little something fun. For all ye faithful people, who are upset about there not being ANY (like ten or so) fan fictions over the LEVIATHAN series, know that one is on the way. There will be a day! Soon, my friends, soon._

_A second note: This is BASICLY what would happen if Alek and Deryn were real and if I were to have an intelligent conversation with them. Alek still doesn't know that she's a girl. _

_The first part is written like a play is. Actions are inside **_

_Thoughts are in __italics. _

_The second part is written like an interview._

_A third note: If you know me and know what an 'intelligent conversation' is to me, you will enjoy this. If you don't know me. Well, I hope you like it! _

**Please read and review.**

Cast:

**Lovelace (Me)**

**Alek**

**Deryn**

**And surprise guest(s)!**

Lovelace: Hi, there!

Deryn:*Blinks and stares*

Alek: Um, may I ask what you're wearing?

Lovelace: Too late, dummy.

Alek: *clenches fist and grinds teeth*

Lovelace: But since you so kindly insisted, I'll tell you! I'm wearing boyfriend jeans and a T-shirt! *Points to shirt that says' ^I'm with Stupid' *

Alek: Why is your voice so high?

Lovelace: Huh?

Alek: Haven't you reached the point of 'manhood' where your voice becomes deeper?

Lovelace: Are you saying-

Deryn: *Smirks* She's a girl, you ninny!

Lovelace: Ninny?

Alek: Females don't wear 'pants' or 'T-shirts'!

Lovelace: Are you suggesting I take them off? *is mortified*

Deryn: *is shocked at Alek*

Alek: No! I mean, why do you dress so funny?

Lovelace: *Looks at them, scanning their clothes* And you have the nerve to say that?

Alek: What?

Lovelace: I. Dress. In. This. Century. You dress in tights.

Alek: That's not true.

Lovelace: And what is your problem Deryn?

Alek: Deryn? You mean Dylan?

((Mental Conversation))

Deryn: He doesn't know that I'm a girl.

Lovelace: Whaaaa?

Deryn: I tried to but-

Lovelace: Dr. Barlow interrupted. Jeez, I know that! But you didn't tell him since then?

Deryn: We weren't ever alone since.

Lovelace: And he was never suspicious?

Deryn: I guess not. For a genius at plans, he's sure barking oblivious to everything in front of him.

Lovelace: Speaking of the front of him, what are you sixteen?

Deryn: *Gets where Lovelace is going to* Fifteen, actually. I get binding wraps, you see.

Lovelace: *imagines doing that to herself and shudders* That must be painful.

Deryn: *stares up at the sky* Yes. But it's defiantly worth it. I love flying. The sky is my home. *eyes get moist*

Alek: Why are you crying Dylan?

((Mental conversation_ disconnected. Sorry for the inconvenience.))

Deryn: *dries face* I'm fine!

Alek: ….

Deryn: Just had a moment.

Alek: ….

Deryn: _I'm an idiot._

Alek: …

Deryn: …

Alek: …..

Lovelace: AWKWARD SILENCE! I LIKE PANDA BEARS!

Deryn: ….

Alek: …..

Deryn: Me too! They are so cute and fluffy and…

Alek: *stares*

Deryn: and they make great attack bears!

Panda: Huh? *continues to slowly chew bamboo*

Alek: _Darwinists…_

Lovelace: *holds panda bear to chest* What? Panda bears are gentle and kind creatures! They are loving and compassionate!

Deryn: That's what they all think.

Alek: _You got to be pulling my leg. Pandas are harmless and can never do anything helpful in any way. All they do is eat, poop, and drink. Almost like babies except Pandas are furry and overweight._

Panda: *Glares and narrows it's eyes at Alek*

Lovelace: Oh! Alek, do you want to hold him?

Alek: It's a boy?

Lovelace: Well, I'm not sure. Let me check… *Opens Panda's mouth*

Deryn: So…

Lovelace: It's defiantly a boy.

Alek: I'm pretty sure that's its tongue. _Idiot._

Lovelace: So you want to hold him?

Panda: *starts foaming in the mouth and growls*

Alek: No thank you.

Newkirk: *walks in* What's going on in here?

Lovelace: I love your tights! They match your eyes!

Newkirk: They. Aren't. Tights.

Lovelace: And who name's their kid 'Newkirk'?

Newkirk: *growls and attacks*

Lovelace: PANDA! USE YOUR POWERS! *throws Panda at Newkirk*

Panda: *bites and shreds* To-fu!

**Well. That was completely random.**

**Now to something more serious.**

_**Alek's Interview **_

Question: _How are you today?_

Answer: _I'm feeling pretty good. I stayed on the _Leviathan _in hiding, but I still get to see Dylan._

Q: Do you have a secret nickname for Dylan?

A: …Dyl?

Q: Do you know _everything _about Dylan?

A: Well, I don't know _everything _about him. I know about his Uncle, who he talks fondly of, and that he's Scottish. You can here that accent from miles away. And he loves to sketch. He has shown me some of his drawings. He's an amazing artist.

Also, he hates the biscuits they serve on the whale. He swears to me that his mum made the best bread in all of Europe, and possibly the whole world.

Q: Do you ever suspect Dylan's hiding something?

A: Well, he did approach me to tell me something in the egg room, but he never got to. Plus he's just barking skittish with me now. I don't know what's wrong.

Q: Boxers or Briefs?

A: Excuse me? Sudden change of subject? …well, If you must know…Boxers.

Q: Favorite color?

A: You are sure getting random. Red.

Q: Favorite animal?

A: I don't like animals.

Q: Are you more of a dog person or a cat?

A: I'm more of a gun person.

Q: Pancakes or Waffles?

A: What are waffles?

Q: Do you like Waffles?

A: I don't even know what waffles are!

Q: Do you plan on getting married? If so how many Children?

A: If the war suddenly stops, and anyone still loves me, despite the fact _I_ started the war, and then sure I guess. And there should be heirs.

Q: Are you glad you saved Deryn- I mean, Dylan from the snow.

A: Dylan, yes. Who's Deryn?

_**Deryn's Interview.**_

Q: So how are you?

A: Um, I'm fine I guess.

Q: Do you have a secret nickname for Alek?

A: Alek is his secret name.

Q: Would you like me to stop calling him that then?

A: No, It's fine.

Q: Do you know Alek?

A: I like to believe I do.

Q: You know what time it is?

A: 2:45 pm?

Q: No! **IT'S TEST TIME!**

A: Um…

Q: I'm going to ask a series of random questions that he has already answered. They are in random order. You are to try to guess what he answered! To you get it?

A: Yes. I'm not going to like this.

Question 1-

_What is Alek's favorite color? _

Deryn: Red.

Question 2-

_Is Alek a dog person or cat person?_

Deryn: A violent person.

Question 3-

_What is Alek's favorite animal?_

Deryn: He hates animals.

Question 4-

_Pancakes or Waffles?_

Deryn: Alek doesn't even know what either is.

Question 5-

_Does he like Waffles?_

Deryn: I told you, he doesn't know what waffles are!

Last Question, Worth 20000 points!

Deryn: I'm ready.

Question 6-

_Boxers or briefs?_

Deryn: …..Boxers?

**I love randomness! **

**Please don't worry; the fan fiction that I'm working on is going to be more serious. Sadly, I won't be putting Panda in the fiction, unless I'm suddenly inspired by him. **

**Pandas are somewhat inspiring.**

**Please, please Review! It only takes a few minutes to make me happy! Besides, it took me a day for this to make you guys happy! (And myself)**

**Comments? Complaints? Suggestions? Random poems about a rainbow unicorn named Chad who saves the planet Saturn by eating all the potato chips that are green to starve out all the grass eating dominators from the planet Mercury? Review! **


End file.
